Sarah Agagu

Childhood Trauma: How to Heal and Move Forward

Many of us act in certain ways and adopt certain attitudes due to the experiences we had or witnessed as a child. These events or situations were so traumatic that they still affect us even in adulthood.

It influences our behaviors, attitudes, self-esteem, our relationships, our work and just how we relate with others in general.

It is so common that a Nigerian publication revealed that 58% of Nigerian youths had experienced traumatic experience in their childhood.

Yet, many of us don’t even realize how much our behaviors and struggles like anxiety, trust issues, people-pleasing traits, etc., are as a result of the trauma we experienced in childhood.

So, in this blog post, I shall talk about childhood trauma, how it shows up even when you are older and most importantly, the steps you can take to begin healing from it.

Meaning of Childhood Trauma

Childhood trauma is a painful, violent, fearful or negative event or experience you went through as a child. It could also be an experience you saw or witnessed from others when you were a child.

It doesn't matter if it was a one-time event or it happened more than once.

What matters was that it was so impactful that it causes you to act or behave in certain ways or have certain emotions even when you are older.

For example, if your parents were often angry or distant to you when you were young, you might have learned to act extra nice or do things to keep them happy, even if it meant ignoring your own needs. As a result, you can end up being a people-pleaser as an adult trying to keep everyone happy.

      Examples of Events or Experiences that Could Cause Childhood Trauma

1. Sexual Abuse- When a child is abused sexually, it can become a traumatic experience that can affect them later in life.
2. Domestic Violence: When a child continuously sees his/her parents fighting and arguing, it can affect his view of relationships in the future.
3. Loss of Loved One: If you lost a loved one e.g parent, sibling, etc., as a child, it can traumatize you.
4. Bullying: If you were made fun of, hit, or ignored by your classmates at school every day, it can affect your self-esteem even when you become an adult
5. Physical Abuse: If you were constantly getting beaten as a child, it can affect you even when you're older and you might see physical pain as a sign of love in relationships.
6. Emotional Abuse- if you were emotionally abused e.g always being compared to others as a kid, it can make you develop a low self-esteem that extends even till adulthood.

Other examples are parental neglect or abandonment, separation trauma or divorce, car accidents, etc.

Effects of Childhood Trauma on Adults

As mentioned earlier, childhood trauma can be so impactful that it can still affect you even in adulthood. Here are some effects of childhood trauma in adults:

• Trust issues: If you were constantly being abandoned or betrayed as a child, you might find it hard to open up to others later in life. For example, someone who had an absentee father or a father who kept leaving may find it hard to trust others.
• Anger issues: Trauma can make you feel constantly angry or irritated. For example, if you were constantly beaten or yelled at as a child, you might find yourself yelling or beating others when you become an adult.
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): This is when your past memories keep coming back and triggers certain emotions in you like fear, panic, etc. For instance, if you saw your parents fighting constantly as a child, you might feel scared or panic when you see or hear a couple having an argument.
• Relationship issues: Maintaining a healthy relationship is not very easy if you experienced a traumatic event as a child as regards relationships.  For example, if you grew up with parents with a toxic relationship, you may find yourself avoiding romantic relationships or even pushing people away.
• Low self-esteem, self-image or self-doubt: If you were constantly bullied as a child for your body size or looks, it may affect the way you see yourself even when you are older.
• Attachment issues: As an adult, you may find yourself either being too clingy or distant especially when you are in a relationship maybe because you were neglected as a child.

Other effects of childhood trauma on adults are eating disorders, drug abuse and alcoholism, social anxiety, depression, etc.

How to Heal from Your Childhood Trauma

Now that you know just how much your childhood trauma can affect you, here are some steps to help you heal from it.

1. Acknowledge Your Experience and Forgive: Childhood trauma is a painful experience and many of us bottle up our feelings and don't talk about it. Some decide to forget. Others do things to take their mind off it.

But the truth is you can't move forward until you acknowledge how that experience affected you. You need to really feel those suppressed emotions like anger, pain and grief. It is after you acknowledge them that you will be able to take the next step on your journey of healing.

So, take time to examine some of your behaviors and how it connects to what you experienced as a child and then take steps to change each one.

2. Talk to a Therapist or Mental Health Professional: One of the best way to heal from the negative effects of your childhood trauma is to go for therapy. In therapy, you will be able to find the root cause of your emotions and behaviors. You will also learn how to process your experience as a child and how much it has affected you.

Therapy will also help you identify your triggers and learn some coping techniques to help you handle the effects of the trauma and change your thoughts about it.

Our therapists are experienced in popular therapy procedures for healing from childhood trauma like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Trauma-focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy etc. Click here to book your first therapy session.

3. Journaling: This is a very good way to process your childhood trauma and the effects it had on you. Writing down your feelings and experiences will help you let go and make changes. It will also help you identify your triggers and help you heal. You can learn more about the benefits of journaling here.
4. Mindfulness and Meditation: Mindfulness will help you become more aware of your present feelings and emotion and how your past is affecting you. While meditation will help you calm your mind, feel less anxious, and really feel those emotions you have been suppressing as a child.
5. Spend Time with The Right People: if you grew up in a toxic family or environment, it may affect the way you see relationships whether platonic or romantic. So, you need to start spending time around people who treat you with the love and respect you deserve.

Changing your environment will also show you what heathy relationships look like so you can learn from it.

6. Be Patient and Kind to Yourself: Things would not change immediately. It is a step by step process. You don't have to worry about ‘getting over it’ quickly. So, be patient with yourself and acknowledge how far you have come.

Does Childhood Trauma Ever Go Away?

With therapy and the right intervention like those mentioned above, it can but it will take time. Through therapy, meditation, mindfulness, etc., you will become more aware and be able to identify your triggers and be on the way to recovery.

Conclusion

No matter what you experienced as a kid, it is never too late to get help and start living the happier and mentally healthy life you should be living. Remember, the trauma wasn't your fault, but healing is your responsibility

To get started, book a therapy session with us today and our qualified therapists will help you unpack your childhood trauma and help you move past it.

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by Sarah Agagu

What is Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)? Causes, Signs, Treatment

In Nigeria, Autism Spectrum Disorder seems like a faraway condition you only hear about in movies and dramas. But it is more common than you think. A study revealed that about 600,000 children in Nigeria are autistic which means about 1 in 200 children in Nigeria are on the Autism Spectrum.

Therefore, it is very important that you know what Autism Spectrum Disorder is, its signs and how it can be treated.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

This is a neurological/ brain condition that affects how a person talks, learn and relate with other people. Cleveland defines it as a difference in brain functioning that affects how a person communicates and interacts with others. According to WHO, It is a disorder that affects 1 in 100 children globally.

ASD is different for different people i.e there are different ranges of symptoms and degree of seriousness.

While some autistic persons might have difficulty speaking, others might not. Some may require support and may not be able to live independently and others may be able to live on their own without support.

Some autistic persons can also be highly intelligent while some may not be. This is the reason why it is called a spectrum.

Autism is a lifelong condition i.e people with autism will have to live with it forever. However, early support and intervention can go a long way.

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), Autism Spectrum Disorder is 4 times more common among boys than girls. It can be diagnosed as early as when a child is 2 years old.

Also, it should be noted that your looks, background, diet, parenting style, etc., has no impact on whether you are autistic or not.

Autism Spectrum Disorder Test: How Is ASD Diagnosed?

It is very important that an ASD test or diagnosis is carried out early because early intervention will go a long way in helping an autistic person manage their symptoms and live a normal life.

An ASD test can be done as early as when a child is 2 years old and even younger. Unfortunately, most ASD patients are diagnosed when they are older which may prevent them from enjoying the benefits of early intervention.

To diagnose ASD, specialists/pediatricians will ask the child some certain questions and interact with them. They might also refer him/her to an ASD specialist for further observations and screening.

The most common criteria for diagnosis are the DSM-5-TR and the ICD-11.

Causes of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

There is no scientifically proven cause of ASD. However, there are risk factors i.e factors that can increase a child's risk of being autistic. They are:

• Late/early child birth.
• Gestational diabetes
• Family history e.g having a family member with ASD, etc.

Signs and Symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder

While the signs of Autism Spectrum Disorder vary depending on the person, there are a few common signs to tell if someone is autistic. They are:

1. Repetition of certain movements/sounds.
2. Repeated patterns of behavior and activities.
3. Avoidance of eye contact.
4. Lack of interest in the people or things around them.
5. Difficulty understanding social cues and rules like sarcasm, humor, etc.
6. Difficulty/slowness in speaking.
7. Strong interest and knowledge of unusual subjects like trains, maps, numbers, etc.
8. Sticking to a particular routine or arrangement and refusing to change it.
9. Hyper sensitivity to certain sounds/noises like alarms, busy streets, etc.
10. Indifference to other people's emotions.
11. Resistance to certain levels of physical contact.

Note:

1. As mentioned earlier, ASD is different for each person. The signs or symptoms an autistic person shows depends on where they are in the autism spectrum. Also, the symptoms experienced can change overtime as they get older.
2. If an autistic person is diagnosed early and receives early intervention, they may experience lower degrees of these symptoms.
3. A person could show some of these symptoms and not be autistic. This is why a ASD test or evaluation must be carried out by a qualified healthcare professional.

Treatment of Autism Spectrum Disorder

There is no specific treatment of ASD since it is not a disease. It cannot be cured, However, it can be managed.

Once an autistic person especially a child is evaluated/tested as autistic by a pediatric psychologist or child neurologist or a healthcare provider specializing in ASD, the next step is to help them manage the symptoms so it doesn't affect their daily life.

Here are some ways to manage it:

1. Therapy: Therapy is very useful for autistic persons especially those who experience anxiety, depression, etc. It will help them to recognize and manage their emotions like anger, anxiety, etc. It will also help them learn coping strategies to handle uncomfortable situations or unexpected changes.

An example of a therapy procedure useful for an autistic person is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Other therapies they can try are:

• Speech Therapy/ Speech-Language Therapy- This will help them improve their communication skills like pronouncing words, vocabulary, staying on topic in conversations, etc.
• Family Therapy: Autism doesn’t just affect the autistic person but also their families. Through family therapy, the parents and siblings will learn about autism and how they can communicate with their child or family member.

2. Treatment of Conditions Occurring Alongside Autism Spectrum Disorder: There are certain conditions that autistic peoples experience in addition to the symptoms of ASD such Anxiety disorder, Bipolar disorder, ADHD, etc.

Treating these conditions will also go a long way in helping an autistic person to manage their symptoms.

3. Medications- Autism Spectrum Disorder has no cure. However, there are medications that can be used to manage and reduce specific symptoms like mood swings, anxiety, etc. Examples of them are antidepressants, simulants, etc.

These medications should only be used at the recommendation of a healthcare provider as some of them have side effects.

4. Social Skills Training (SST) - This is to help children with ASD learn to interact in a social setting and handle social interactions. It helps them to understand social cues, facial expressions, body language, etc.
5. Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA): This is an approach based on the principles of behavior psychology which helps children with ASD to understand and improve their social, communication, academic and living skills through positive reinforcement. Although it takes time, it has long-lasting benefits.

Autism Spectrum Disorder and ADHD

Many people tend to confuse ASD with ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity Disorder but they are two different conditions. Autistic persons struggle with interacting normally and understanding social behaviors. However, persons with ADHD can be social but they just struggle with the need for constant activity and are easily distracted due to their hyperactive nature.

Can Autism Spectrum Disorder Be Cured?

No. Autism is a brain condition not a disease. So it cannot be cured. However, the symptoms can be managed so an autistic person can live a normal and quality life. Through early treatment and support, this can be done.

Conclusion

ASD is not a disease. It just means that the person's brain works differently from most people. Through early diagnosis and management, their symptoms can be reduced and they may be able to lead quality lives.

 

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by Sarah Agagu

How to Help a Loved One Suffering from Depression Without Feeling Helpless?

Jane has been feeling sad because she doesn't know how to help her boyfriend Paul. She knows he is depressed but she doesn't know how to comfort him. What if she says or does the wrong thing? Should she give him space like he asks or should she stay by his side?

Many of us have been Jane at one point in time. We have wondered what to do when our partner, friend or family member is or was depressed.

I myself have been there too, wondering how to help a loved one who was depressed.

If you have been in this position before, then this blog post is for you.

In this blog post, I discuss some practical ways you can help and support your loved one whether your partner, your friend or family member who is depressed.

   What Happens When Your Loved One is Depressed?

When your partner, family member or friend is depressed, they start acting or showing some signs like:

• Losing interest in the things or activities they use to love.
• Having difficulty sleeping e.g sleeping too much or sleeping too little.
• Distancing themselves from their friends and families.
• Weight loss/weight gain due to changes in their appetite.
• Getting angry, frustrated or irritated over little or insignificant things.
• Having constant stomach aches.
• Feelings of shame and guilt over past mistakes.
• Having conversations about suicide, mentioning suicidal thoughts in conversations or taking suicidal actions like buying dangerous items.
• Using drugs or alcohol.
• Talking about feeling tired constantly.
• Being nervous and anxious constantly.

How to Help a Loved One Suffering from Depression?

According to a 2024 study, youths who received family/friends’ support when they were depressed, had reduced depressive symptoms. This goes to show how important it is that you support your loved ones when they go through depression.

To support or help your partner, friend, or family member who is depressed, here are 4 practical ways to do it:

1. Listen to them without judgement.
2. Show support and encouragement.
3. Encourage them to seek mental health support.
4. Be patient with them.

 

Listen to Them Without Judgement

When your loved one is depressed, they tend to withdraw and isolate themselves but there are times when they want to talk.

During those times, you must be ready to listen without judging them. While you may not understand what they are going through, you must not invalidate their feelings or make them think it is useless.

Listen with empathy and acknowledge their feelings and emotions.

Show Support and Encouragement

When your loved one is depressed, your support and encouragement is invaluable. Just letting them know that you are there for them will go a long way.

How to show support and encouragement even when they are asking for space.

There is a difference between emotional space and emotional distance. Emotional space is when you give them room to think, feel and process their emotions while still showing them love and care.

While emotional distance is when you shut down or withdraw from someone which can make them feel abandoned or ignored.

So, when your partner asks for space, what they actually need from you is quiet support like knowing you are there for them without the pressure to talk or explain everything. What you should do is give them emotional space i.e stepping back a little, but still being there when they need you.

Here are some tips to help you do this:

• Regularly check in on them with calls, messages, home visits, etc.
• Send them kind messages and words of encouragement.
• Send them thoughtful gifts of love.
• If you are a believer, pray for them and let them know you are praying for them.
• Help them handle some daily/basic things in their life like household chores, homework, etc.
• Make plans with them like going to the gym together, going out together or watching a movie together etc.

 

In this way, you can show support to them without disappearing from their life. Remember, this must be done gently not forcefully.

Encourage Them to Seek Professional Support-

Encouraging them to get help is the best support you can give. If there is one major thing you can do for a depressed partner, friend or family member, it is encouraging them to get professional support.

Nothing you do or say can replace professional support or therapy. So, you need to try to gently persuade them to see a therapist.

You can do your research and recommend therapists they can go to. You can send them links to book a therapy session, give them the number of a therapist, etc.

Also, let them know that you will be there to support them all the way. For example, driving them to their appointments, making sure they don't miss their therapy sessions etc.

Be Patient with Them

One thing you must accept is that you can't make a loved one’s depression go away. You can't fix it or wish it away.

So, you must be patient with them. Yes, you can offer support and encouragement but at the end of the day, their total recovery from depression is in their hands.

So, during this period, be supportive, encouraging, patient and do not take things personally.

 

What to Say to Your Loved Ones When They're Depressed?

Knowing the right words to say when your loved one is depressed is very important. Saying something like "just be strong" is not really the most encouraging thing to say. Rather, it could come off as you calling them weak for being depressed.

Here are some thoughtful words to say when your loved one is depressed:

“I love you and I care about you.”

“You're not alone in this.”

“You will come out of this and I will stick with you through it”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“It is okay to feel this way.”

“I am willing to talk anytime you want.”

 

Things You Should Never Say to a Loved One Who is Depressed, Even If Your Intentions are Good.

Sometimes when our loved ones are depressed, we end up saying some certain things that look fine to us but might be hurtful to them. Even though we have good intentions, these words still hurt.

For example, saying words like:

“Other people are going through far worse.”

“Snap out of it.”

“Pull yourself together.”

“Be grateful and stop all this.”

“Maybe you're just in a bad mood.”

“This is Naija. Everybody is depressed.”

“It's because you don't have money.”

 

Avoid saying these things. It might come off as you trying to downplay their feelings. And although some might sound like a joke, it can be very hurtful.

How to Care for Yourself While Caring for Them

Caring for a depressed loved one can be very draining and that is the honest truth. The constant rejection from them and worry for them can get too much at times.

This is why you need to also make sure you take care of yourself while offering them support. After all, you cannot pour from an empty cup or give what you do not have.

Here are some tips to help you take care of yourself while supporting a depressed loved one:

1. Accept and admit that supporting someone with depression is not easy: Sometimes, it can be overwhelming. It doesn't mean you're selfish, you are just being honest.
2. Set boundaries when needed: It is okay to set limits and take breaks. Just because you want to be supportive doesn't mean you should be available 24/7.
3. Talk to a therapist or counselor: You also need a safe space to express your feelings and worries. That is why you need to talk to someone. Don't keep it in. Let someone know what you are going through so you can receive support too.
4. Take time off without guilt. There are times when you need to take a break when supporting a loved one. So, don't feel guilty about it. It is okay to take time for your own self-care.

Conclusion

As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, when your loved one is depressed, it can be worrisome and you might start to doubt yourself. You might not even be sure that what you are doing is helpful.

However, it is. The fact that you show up, ask about them, and show gestures of love goes a long way even though they don't show it.

And you can book a therapy session for them or yourself here. Our qualified therapists are always ready to help you.

 

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by Sarah Agagu

Postpartum Depression in Nigeria: Important Things to Know About PPD

You just gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. The whole family is rejoicing. Everyone seems to be happy except you. You notice you are experiencing feelings like irritation, anger, anxiety, depression and even finding it difficult to bond with your baby.

Well, it could be that you are suffering from postpartum depression.

This seems like a rare condition but it is actually not. It is a serious condition affecting mothers especially new mothers. In Nigeria, 1 in 5 women have experienced postpartum depression.

 

What Does Postpartum Depression (PPD) Mean?

Postpartum depression is a mental health condition that affects you after giving birth. It causes you to experience frequent mood swings, anger, tiredness and can even affect you in taking care of your baby. It is also known as postnatal depression.

According to the NHS, 1 in 10 women globally experience postpartum depression every year.

Having a baby can be a very life-changing event which can be affect you both physically and emotionally. Your daily life starts revolving around your child and you may not have time to take care of yourself.

Your body also changes and your hormones fluctuate which can lead to mood swings, tiredness, etc.

 

How Common is Postpartum Depression?

In Nigeria, it is so common that it affects 20-35% of new mothers and even this number is not totally correct. This is because many women fail to speak up about it and so it goes unreported.

What does Postpartum Depression look like?

Here are a few signs that you may be experiencing postpartum depression:

1. Frequent crying.
2. Insomnia/difficulty sleeping.
3. Loss of appetite / weight loss.
4. Feelings of shame, hopelessness and embarrassment.
5. Constant fatigue/tiredness.
6. Dislike/lack of interest in your baby.
7. Having suicidal thoughts.
8. Loss of interest in your hobbies/interests.
9. Headaches/stomach pains.

 

What Causes Postpartum/Postnatal Depression?

Some of the factors that can cause you to experience postpartum depression are:

1. Family/genetic factors: If your family has a history of postpartum depression i.e if the mothers in your family have experienced postpartum depression in the past, then you may be at risk of experiencing it too.
2. Changes to your body: During pregnancy, your body experiences physical changes and hormonal changes. You may also start feeling insecure about your body which can cause you to feel tired, stressed and depressed.
3. Fear of the inability to take good care about of your baby: This is very common especially if you are a first time mother. You may feel inadequate or doubt yourself and your ability to take care of your child. This can make you feel anxious and depressed.

 

Other causes of postpartum depression are marital conflicts, depression before pregnancy, financial lack, premature delivery, etc.

 

How Long Does Postpartum Depression Lasts?

There is no specific time on how long you can experience postpartum depression. It can last as long as one year or even more than that. What matters is that you seek immediate medical attention if you experience any of these symptoms.

 

How to Overcome Postpartum Depression

1. Regular Therapy: To treat postpartum depression, you may need to speak to a therapist. By talking to a therapist, you will get to the root of your depression and find out why you feel the way you do. They will also recommend ways on how you can cope and get better.

Book a session with a postpartum therapist here.

2. Medication: There are drugs that would be given by your medical doctor/practitioner for treating postpartum depression such as antidepressants. If you experience signs of postpartum depression, be sure to consult with your doctor.
3. Make Lifestyle Changes: This is a way to treat postpartum depression alongside the options mentioned above. Apart from therapy and medications, you should also make some changes in your lifestyle like:

• Regularly exercising and staying active.
• Eating healthy and balanced meals.
• Regular rest and sleep. It might be hard to sleep when you have a baby but you need to make time for it. You can consider having your partner or relative take care of your baby so you can have time to sleep.
• Be ready to ask people for help in taking care of your baby. Don't do it alone.
• Practice your hobbies/interests that makes you feel good and reduce your stress like reading, dancing, spa treatments, etc.

 

ALSO READ: 10 Self-care Practices to Help You Relax and Unwind

 

Where Can I Find Postpartum Depression Treatment Near Me

At Mycarebuddy, we offer postpartum depression therapy services both online and offline at affordable prices. You can contact us online at we.care@mycarebuddyhq.com to book a session with us.

We can also provide physical or face-to-face therapy.

 

Frequently Asked Questions:

A. Is Postpartum Depression the Same as Baby Blues?

No. Postpartum depression is not the same as baby blues.

Baby blues occurs after giving birth and it can cause you to feel stressed, experience frequent mood swings and anxiety, etc. However, this is a temporary condition and it usually ends within 1-2 weeks.

However postpartum depression lasts longer and can be more intense. There is also an increased risk of postpartum psychosis.

 

B.  Is there a difference between Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Psychosis?

Yes, there is a difference between postpartum psychosis and postpartum depression.

Postpartum psychosis is a more severe and rare variation of postpartum depression. If you have postpartum psychosis, you experience more severe symptoms like hallucinations and delusions, paranoia, intense anger and it could go as far as trying to hurt your baby or yourself.

Postpartum psychosis also requires more immediate medical attention as there is an increased risk of you hurting or attempting to hurt your baby.

 

Conclusion

Postpartum depression is a condition that affects most mothers. It is not something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.

If you are experiencing symptoms of postpartum depression, book a therapy session for postpartum depression counseling here.

Remember postpartum depression is not your fault neither is it a character flaw. Do not be afraid to speak out and receive help.

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by Sarah Agagu

Finding Therapists in Lagos: Benefits, Costs & How to Choose the Right One

Choosing to go for therapy is a very important step in taking care of your mental health. It helps you overcome anxiety and depression. It also helps you manage stress especially if you live in Lagos with its fast-paced life.

In this article, you will learn where to find the best therapists in Lagos, the benefits of therapy and the costs of therapy. You will also learn some tips that will help you choose the right therapist.

 

 Where to Find the Best Therapists in Lagos

Finding a therapist for yourself is very important to help you handle the stress that comes with living in Lagos. Here are some places you can find therapists in Lagos:

Therapy Centers and Organizations:

These are mental health centers and organizations that specialize in treating mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, personality disorders, addiction, etc.

Examples of them are:

a. Mycarebuddy: Mycarebuddy is a mental health organization located at 48, Dele Orisabiyi Street, Ago Palace Way, Okota, Lagos. We offer therapy services both online and offline to individuals, families, couples, organizations, etc. We also specialize in treating mental health cases like anxiety, depression, trauma, ADHD, low self-image, substance abuse, etc.

Apart from therapy services, we also sell mental health products to guide people on their mental health journey like affirmation cards, journals, stress balls, etc.

Click here to learn more about our services.

1. 360Psyche: This is another mental health organization based in Lagos. 360Psyche offer therapy services to individuals, couples, corporate organizations etc. They also specialize in treating cases like anxiety, depression, relationship issues, anger management, trauma, etc.

 

 Online Platforms and Directories:

These are online platforms that connect you with licensed and certified therapists online. Examples of them are:

1. Therapists.ng: This is a local online directory for Nigerian therapists, including those based in Lagos.
2. TherapyRoute: This is another therapist directory where you can find licensed therapists in Lagos.
3. Therapy Tribe: This online directory features therapists from different areas including Lagos.

 

Referrals and Recommendations:

Another way you can find therapists in Lagos is through word-of-mouth. You can ask your friends, family, or colleagues who have had positive experiences with therapists in Lagos to recommend someone to you.

Social Media and Online Reviews:

To find a therapist in Lagos, you can also go through social media channels like Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, etc.

Online reviews are also another way to find therapists in Lagos. A simple way to gather online reviews is to search on Google.

Benefits of Therapy for People Living in Lagos

As mentioned earlier, regular therapy can have amazing benefits on your mental health and overall wellness. Some of those benefits are:

1. Improved Mental Health: Therapy can help to reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, and trauma, in your life. It will also guide you on the way to total recovery.
2. Personal Growth: In therapy, you get to learn more about yourself, your weakness and strengths. This increases your self-awareness and helps you grow emotionally. You will also learn to accept yourself and be more confident.
3. Better Coping Strategies: Through therapy, you will learn how to handle life situations and stressful moments without getting burnout and risking your health.
4. Relationship Improvement: one major benefit of therapy is improving couples and family relationships including blended families. In therapy, you can iron out situations and resolve your conflicts.

 

Costs of Therapy in Lagos

Therapy prices in Lagos can vary depending on your therapist’s experience, the type of therapy you want and the duration of your therapy session.

• Online Therapy: This is usually done online through video platforms like Zoom, Google Meet, etc. Here, you speak to your therapist online without meeting face-to-face.

The price for online therapy in Lagos can be as high as 60,000 and as low as #5000 depending on the therapist you choose and the number of sessions.

• Face-to-Face Therapy: This type of therapy is one where you meet your therapist face-to-face in a physical setting like an office, clinic, etc.

At Mycarebuddy, we offer affordable online and offline therapy services for rates low as #5000.

Click here to your book your next therapy session with us now at AFFORDABLE PRICES.

 

Final Tips for Choosing the Right Therapist in Lagos

When choosing a therapist, there are certain factors you need to consider like:

1. Specialization: Most therapists have their specialization or area of expertise. To get adequate care, you need to look for a therapist who specializes in the area you need help with like anxiety, depression, trauma, etc.

At Mycarebuddy, our team is made up of different therapists with different specializations. This ensures that we can provide you with therapy services in any area you need help with including ADHD, depression and anxiety, stress, low self-image, substance abuse, personality disorder, relationships, couples' conflicts, etc.

2. Credentials and Qualifications: Try to confirm that your therapist is licensed and qualified to help you. Don't be afraid to ask for your therapist’s qualifications/license.
3. Session Availability, Location and Details: Lagos is a populous state and the traffic can be very hectic. So, while choosing a therapist, it is important that you consider the type of therapy they offer.

You need to ask yourself questions like, “Are sessions available in-person or online?

If it’s in-person, is the location accessible from your home or workplace?

You also need to consider what language you want to receive therapy in. For example, not all therapy organizations in Nigeria offer therapy in indigenous languages like Yoruba, Igbo, pidgin, etc.

Therefore, if you are someone who is more comfortable with the Yoruba language, then you need a therapist who can speak in that language.

Good News: At Mycarebuddy, we offer affordable therapy services in English, Yoruba, Hausa, Igbo and Pidgin.

4. Cost and Payment Option: While choosing your therapist, be sure to ask how much they charge per session. This will guide you in choosing the right therapy package that meets your budget.
5. Compatibility: This is a very important factor. If you don't feel comfortable with your therapist, you are totally free to look for another one. If you don’t feel a connection with them, don’t be afraid to look for someone else

 

Conclusion

Whether you’re dealing with stress, anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges, finding the right therapist is very important.

Understanding the costs, knowing where to find the right therapist, and being mindful of your preferences will help you make the best choice for your mental health. Remember, taking the first step toward therapy is an investment in your well-being.

If you are looking for therapy services in Lagos, feel free to reach out to us here. We offer in-person and online therapy services at affordable prices.

Book a therapy appointment with the best therapy services in Lagos now

 

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by Sarah Agagu

What Does PTSD Mean? Everything You Need to Know About Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) is one of the major mental health challenges in the world although it is not as well-known compared to mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

According the WHO, 3.9% of the world population i.e., over 300 million people in the world will experience PTSD at one point in their lives. The numbers may even be higher since people who have PTSD especially in developing countries are usually undiagnosed.

PTSD is a major mental health challenge that can affect anyone. This is why you must know what it means, its symptoms and how you can get treatment. This blog post will help you answer these questions.

What does PTSD mean?

PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) is a mental health condition that occurs after a person experiences a traumatic event or situation like sexual assault, loss of loved one, war, domestic violence, etc.

PTSD can cause you to feel or react in a certain way even after the traumatic event or situation has ended.

For example, if you experienced or even witnessed domestic violence at a point in your life, you may become traumatized and suffer from PTSD. You may start having flashbacks about the event which can make you sad and angry. It can also make you react in unusual ways when discussions of domestic violence are brought up e.g., feeling scared when someone raises their hands near you.

You may even experience panic attacks if you hear, feel or do something that reminds you of the violence you experienced or witnessed.

Another example is when you see someone get shot or murdered. You may develop PTSD and start experiencing feelings of anxiety, fear and even have panic attacks whenever you hear loud noises.

In the past, it was believed that PTSD only affected war veterans or people who had fought in wars or witnessed one. However, we now know that anyone can develop PTSD after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic situation or event.

Note: Not everyone who experiences a traumatic situation will have PTSD.

3 Facts about PTSD you should know:

• PTSD affects 3.9% of the world which means 1 in 26 people will experience PTSD at a point in their lives- WHO.
• It can happen to anyone even children.
• 8 Out of 10 Nigerians have Suffered Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder- Dataphyte.

10 Signs You have Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

The signs that you may have PTSD varies but some of the major ones are:

1. Intense nightmares and flashbacks of the traumatic event or experience.
2. Feeling the need to escape, hide or run from places, situations and events related or similar to the traumatic event.
3. Feelings of anger when the event or experience is brought up or something similar to it.
4. Intense fear and anxiety.
5. Excessive suspicion and caution of certain people and situations.
6. Feeling emotionally indifferent or numb.
7. Insomnia.
8. Panic attacks.
9. Physical reactions like headaches, chest pains, stomach pain, sweating, etc.
10. Inability to speak (for intense PTSD).

Note: These signs are not general and depends on each person. Also, you may not experience PTSD symptoms after a traumatic event. It is also possible that you may not experience immediate symptoms until years later after the situation has occurred.

What Events and Situations Causes PTSD?

Examples of situations and circumstances that you may experience or witness that can lead to PTSD are:

1. Sexual Assault and violence.
2. Domestic violence and bullying.
3. Car accidents.
4. War and military service.
6. Fire attacks.
7. Childhood abuse.
8. Sudden death of a loved one.
9. Natural disasters.

Effects of PTSD

Some major effects of PTSD are:

1. Substance Use Disorder and Addiction: This is the major effect of PTSD. It can force you to resort to taking drugs and alcohol to numb and forget the painful memories.
2. Anxiety and Depression: If you have PTSD, you may feel anxious and constantly worry all the time. You may also get depressed and feel hopeless or sad.
3. Memory Problems: People with PTSD tend to forget certain things especially if it is related to the traumatic experience. Also, they may sometimes find it hard to concentrate which can affect their professional or personal life.
4. Risk of Suicide and Other Dangerous Activities: PTSD can cause you to have suicidal thoughts and even try to attempt it. It can also make you have dangerous thoughts towards people and places related to the traumatic event/ experience.

How can PTSD be Treated

Here are some ways PTSD can be treated:

1. Professional Therapy: Through therapy methods like Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), etc., you can recover gradually.

A therapist will help you unpack and process the traumatic event that made you develop PTSD. They will also talk you through it and even guide you on how to cope whenever your PTSD is triggered.

Book a therapy session with us here.

2. Support Groups/Communities: There are online and offline support groups that you can join for your specific condition. In this groups, you will receive empathetic support and guidance which may help you to cope and recover from PTSD.
3. Medication: This is very helpful especially for people who experience intense symptoms of PTSD like reckless behavior, self-sabotaging habits, suicidal attempts, etc. Examples of medications you may be given for PTSD include Anti-anxiety medications, Serotonin, etc.
4. Self-Care: Practicing Self-Care is very important if you want to manage and reduce your PTSD symptoms. Try to regularly exercise daily. Ensure you get quality sleep regularly. Eat a healthy and balanced meal.

Also try to participate in activities that will help you relax like meditation, yoga, etc.

What to do when your PTSD is triggered?

You may experience signs of PTSD anytime and it could be very intense. Certain sounds, situations, etc., can trigger your PTSD and make you react in unusual ways like having panic attacks, sweating, getting angry, violence, etc.

Therefore, when this occurs, it is important that you try to relax and stay calm. For example, you can try breathing exercises like deep breathing. You can also try to meditate. Journaling is also a good way you can try to process your feelings and take control. For more information on what to do when your PTS is triggered, see a therapist.

How long does PTSD last?

There is no specific time that PTSD can last for. It might last as long as a month after the experience. It can also last for years.

  Does PTSD ever go away?

This depends on the individual and the kind of traumatic event they experienced. The kind of treatment they undergo also matters. Also, some people stop experiencing symptoms of PTSD, weeks after the traumatic experience has occurred while others may only start showing signs of PTSD many years after the traumatic event has passed.

Conclusion

PTSD is a serious mental health condition that can affect anyone if they have gone through any traumatic event and circumstances. Its effects can be very destructive and it must not be taken lightly. If you or someone you know is showing signs of PTSD, it is important to seek help immediately.

Book a therapy session with us today and receive timely and empathetic support from our qualified therapists at budget-friendly costs.

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by Sarah Agagu

New Year, New You: 6 New Year’s Resolutions to help you Prioritize and Take Care of Your Mental Health in 2025

At the beginning of this new year, you made several new year resolutions either regarding your weight, your career, your education, etc.

However, there is one aspect you might have ignored while making your new year resolutions and that is your mental health.

Prioritizing or taking care of your mental health is very important. Stress is part of your daily life. You are bound to experience challenges and situations that may make you anxious, stressed and depressed, etc.

This is why it is very important that you make new year resolutions that would benefit your mental health in 2025.  In this blog post, I will briefly mention some new year resolutions that would be good for your mental health and how you can achieve them.

Why Your Mental Health Matters?

Having a good mental health is very important. It impacts your life, your health and even people around you.

If you have a poor mental health, you are at the risk of burnout, depression, and breakdown. It can affect your relationships. It can make you behave in destructive ways. It can also make you take up wrong coping habits like alcoholism, drug abuse, etc.

But when you constantly take care of your mental health, you will be happier and less stressed. You will also be more productive, develop healthier relationships and make better decisions.

Furthermore, life is full of ups and downs. You will find yourself in situations that can affect you mentally whether you like it or not. Situations like loss of loved ones, failures, breakups, job loss, poverty, etc., can affect your mental health.

This is why you must constantly take steps to support and protect your mental health.

6 Mental Health New Year’s Resolutions for 2025

1. Attend regular therapy sessions: Regular therapy is a really good mental health new year resolution. It doesn't just benefit you but people around you. Through therapy, you get to share your feelings, receive feedback, learn healthy coping mechanisms, learn how to handle stress, etc.

Its benefits are numerous and that is why you should make it a part of your new year resolutions. Commit to attending regular therapy sessions even if it is once a month.

Book a therapy session with us here.

2. Practice mindfulness or meditation daily: Mindfulness and meditation are one of the best practices you can do for your mental health. It will help you manage stress, find inner peace, and be able to cope with life challenges.

Examples of easy meditation and mindfulness practices are deep breathing, yoga, etc. You can also attend meditation classes either online and offline.

Learn more about the benefits of meditation here.

3. Practice regular journaling: Journaling is an easy way to express your feelings and clear your mind. According to Verywell Health, journaling helps to reduce stress, anxiety and depression.

So, make sure to add regular journaling to your new year resolutions. It will do wonders for your mental health and overall wellness.

4. Limit screen time and set healthy social media boundaries: One mental health practice to add to your new year resolutions is reducing the amount of time you spend on your phone especially social media.

Unlimited social media use can affect your mental health and affect your self-esteem. It can also make you depressed and anxious.

5. Develop a healthy work-life balance: One new year resolution you should add to your list is balancing your work and your personal life. In this year, you should try to set healthy boundaries between your work and your personal life.

Take time for yourself. Have a life outside work. Spend adequate time with your family. Take up new hobbies and interests. This will help you manage stress and avoid burnout.

6. Practice gratitude: In this new year, be grateful. Instead of constantly worrying about what you don't have, focus on what you do have and be thankful for it.

ALSO READ: Social Media Pressure: How to Use Social Media Wisely and Avoid Digital Burnout

Practical Steps to Achieve Your New Year Resolutions for 2025

According to statistics, only 8% of people actually achieve their new year resolutions. This means that only 1 in about 12 people will actually achieve their new year resolutions in 2025.

In fact, a lot of people give up before the third month. This is why you must take specific steps that will help you achieve your new year resolutions and stay consistent.

Some of the ways to achieve your new year resolutions in 2025 are:

 

1. Stay consistent: You need to be consistent if you really want to achieve your new year goals. For example, if one of your new year resolutions is to journal regularly, then you need to try to do it regularly, even when it's inconvenient.

Here are 3 ways to stay consistent:

• Try breaking down your new year resolutions into smaller steps that you can easily achieve.
• Create a routine that you can stick to. For example, if you decide that you want to journal every night before you go to bed, then you need stick to it till it becomes part of your routine.
• Be ready to get back up. Even when you fail to meet your goals, try again the next day.

 

2. Start small and set realistic resolutions: To help you achieve your new year resolutions this year, you need to ensure that they are realistic. Don't make new year resolutions that might not be possible to achieve.

You should also start small. Instead of having a long list of new year resolutions, pick out a few that are important and stick to them. It will be more easy to achieve and you will feel less pressured.

3. Use reminders or apps to track your progress: It is always good to know exactly how your new year resolutions are going so you can make changes. It will also motivate you to keep going.
4. Celebrate small victories: Achieving your new year resolutions will not be easy so you need to learn to appreciate the little wins.

For example, if one of your new year resolutions was regular journaling and you were only able to journal once a week. That is a win and you should be grateful for it instead of feeling discouraged.

5. Partner with a friend for accountability: Get a partner/friend that can motivate you and help you stay accountable. This is a very good way to stay consistent especially if you share similar goals.

Conclusion

Supporting and taking care of your mental health is your responsibility and you should never sleep on it. By including some of the mental health goals listed above in your new year resolutions for 2025, you will be able to take care of your mental and overall health.

At Mycarebuddy, we are passionate about helping you in prioritizing your mental health. This is why we provide therapy services where you can speak to our qualified therapists at budget-friendly costs.

Book your first therapy session with us here now.

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by Sarah Agagu

Factors That Influence Your Self-Esteem: Practical Tips to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Having a strong self-esteem is very important if you want to achieve your goals and live a happy life. It affects the way you view things around you. It affects the way you think of yourself and others. It determines the type of actions you take. It impacts your personal life and your professional life.

In this blog post, I shall discuss some of the factors that can affect your self-esteem and practical ways you can develop a healthy self-esteem.

           Definition of Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem can be explained as how much you like and value yourself or think of yourself positively. According to BetterUp, it is the degree to which we evaluate ourselves positively.

It is your level of belief in yourself and your abilities. It genuinely comes from the inside i.e from your mind. Self-esteem is not arrogance or pride. A person could be rich and still have a low self-esteem. A person could talk confidently and still have a low self-esteem.

When you constantly think negatively about yourself, your appearance, etc., then you have a poor self-esteem.

Some signs that you may have a low/poor self-esteem are:

• Constant need to please others.
• Feeling inferior to other people.
• Putting other people's needs ahead of yours.
• Constantly thinking negatively about yourself.

 

       5 Factors that can Influence Your Self-Esteem

No one is born with a low self-esteem at birth. It is a result of circumstances and situations that you start experiencing from birth.

Here are 5 factors that influence/ affect your self-esteem:

1. Childhood Trauma and Experiences: If you suffered as a child either from your parents or a relative, that suffering grows with you and affects how you think about yourself.

For example, if you lived in a home where you were constantly abused either physically or mentally, it continues to affects you even when you grow older. It can make you think poorly of yourself and when similar situations happen, you start feeling like you deserve it.

That negative view of yourself follows you to adulthood.  It can affect the way you think about yourself or the way you think other people think of you.

2. Constant Negativity: If you constantly think negatively about yourself then your self-esteem will always be poor. This usually starts as a child.

For example, let's say you failed a test in school, you might start thinking you're stupid and just criticizing yourself. This can go on even until you get older such that anytime you fail at something, you start criticizing yourself. All these can influence your self-esteem.

3. Social Comparisons: If you are constantly comparing yourself to others, it will affect your self-esteem. This is one of the most dangerous effects of social media.

For example, you see someone younger than you or of your age looking a certain way, doing something or buying something that you don't have. Then you start feeling useless and comparing yourself to them. This will influence your self-esteem and you will continue to bring yourself down because of what others are doing.

4. Past Failures: If you have failed at things in the past, it can affect your self-esteem greatly and not in a positive way. You start doubting your abilities and yourself. This can make you develop a low self-esteem.
5. Failed Relationships: If you have had a bad relationship in the past, it can affect the way you think of yourself. Maybe the other party said something negative before the relationship ended. You might start unconsciously believing those negative thoughts and that can affect your self-esteem.

 

5 Ways a Poor/Low Self-esteem Can Affect Your Life

Having a poor or low self-esteem is more than just how you think about yourself. It can have negative effects on your life such as:

1. It affects how you care for yourself: When you have a low self-esteem, you see yourself as unimportant and treat yourself casually. You don't care for your appearance or how you look because you already don't feel good about yourself. You also put other people's needs above your needs

When you have a positive self-esteem, you make decisions that benefits yourself.

2. It affects your romantic relationships: Having a poor self-esteem can have a negative impact on romantic relationships. Since you think negatively about yourself, you attract people who think negatively of you and treat you horribly. On the other hand, when you meet people who actually treat you well, you feel unused to it and think you don’t deserve it.
3. It makes you timid and unassertive: if you have a poor self-esteem, you will find it difficult to stand up for yourself. Even when people treat you badly, you will accept it since you think you don't deserve more. The worst thing is that when people will take advantage of you, you will find it very difficult to say no even when it makes you uncomfortable.
4. It can lead to anxiety and depression: Having a poor self-esteem means you are always comparing yourself to others and looking down on yourself.

You will feel unhappy and unsatisfied with your life. You will become anxious about things beyond your control and when it does work out, you become even more depressed.

5. It makes you stay in your comfort zone: Having a low self-esteem means you do not believe in your abilities. You have no confidence in yourself. And without this you can't achieve your goals. It also hinders you from taking action. You end up living a life you yourself are not happy with.

 

12 Practical Tips to help you Boost Your Self-esteem

1. Accept and forgive yourself: The first step towards improving your self-esteem is to be honest with yourself. You need to accept yourself the way you are. Comparison is a thief of joy. If you constantly compare yourself to others, you will never be happy with yourself.

You also need to forgive yourself. It doesn't matter what has happened in the past. Be compassionate to yourself and forgive yourself. Stop beating yourself over it. Let go and move on.

2. Learn to love yourself: This doesn't happen overnight. You have to take time to learn about yourself and find out your strengths. You have to intentionally find positive things about yourself. The more you do this, the more your self- esteem improves.

Start by setting aside time today and writing all the good things you can think about yourself. It could be your character, your appearance, etc.

3. Intentionally challenge negative thoughts: Everyone has negative thoughts but when you allow it to continue, it affects your mind and your self-esteem.

To improve your self- esteem, you must learn how to repel negative thoughts when they come. For example, if you fail at something and you start thinking you are worthless, stupid, etc., stop it immediately and start saying positive affirmations to yourself.

Every morning you wake up, confess positive things. Do not allow negative thoughts find a place in your mind.

To help you do this, you could get affirmation cards that you can read anytime either at home and at work. This will help you build your self-esteem.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others: Nothing good comes from always comparing yourself to other people. It just makes you feel more down and unworthy. Instead, think of the positive things in your life. Focus on your life and your own success.

To help you stop comparing yourself to others, you can choose to limit your social media use or only follow people that inspire and motivate you.

5. Hang out with people who think positively: If you are always with friends who always think negative, you might need to reduce your contact with them. If you don't, their negative energy will rub off on you and you will start become negative.
6. Learn to speak up for yourself: Sometimes the reason many of us don't speak up whenever we feel uncomfortable is because we have this belief that our opinions do not matter. That is what a poor self-esteem does to you.

So, you need to speak up. Stop trying to please people at your own expense. If you're not comfortable with something, let people know you're not comfortable.

7. Develop a habit of gratitude: Low self-esteem is the result of constantly thinking negatively about yourself. It involves constantly dwelling on your mistakes and failures. But this is wrong.

You need to learn to be grateful. Everyone has something to be grateful for. Focus on those good things and see how your life will change.

8. Exercise regularly: Exercising is not just good for your body; It is also good for your mind. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals which makes you feel good. Also, as you hit your exercise goals, you become more confident and the way you think of your body/appearance improves.
9. Be mindful of what you listen to: For some of us, the reason we have a low self-esteem is because of what we have heard other people say about us.

For example, if you were constantly criticized as a child, you would most likely have a low self-esteem. You mind may start adopting those beliefs and you actually start seeing yourself in the light of those negative criticisms.

This is why you need to be careful of what and who you listen to. If you have a friend/partner who constantly belittles you, speak up about it.

10. Celebrate your little wins and successes: One thing about having a low self-esteem is that when good things happen, you start underrating them or you start comparing it others.

This is not good at all. You have to learn how to celebrate the little things no matter what your mind tells you.

11. Talk to your therapist: If you find that you have a low self-esteem, you should consider seeing a therapist. They will help you find the reasons why you have a low-esteem and even work with you to improve it.

For example, if the reason is a result of an experience you had as a child, they will help you to unpack it and find closure from it.

            Book an appointment with our experienced therapists here.

12. Set goals and achieve them: If you see yourself as someone who is incapable, you need to challenge yourself. Start by setting small goals and achieving them. The more you do this, the more your confidence grows and your self-esteem improves.

It doesn't have to be anything big. It could be as simple as just hitting your gym goals or reading a particular number of books.

Conclusion

To achieve your goals and fulfill your dreams in 2025, you need to improve your self-esteem. You need to be conscious about how you think of yourself and your abilities. A strong self-esteem will significantly change the way you think and the way you do things.

To boost your self-esteem and start 2025 on a positive note, book an appointment with our experienced therapists today.

 

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by Sarah Agagu