Sarah Agagu

Factors That Influence Your Self-Esteem: Practical Tips to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Having a strong self-esteem is very important if you want to achieve your goals and live a happy life. It affects the way you view things around you. It affects the way you think of yourself and others. It determines the type of actions you take. It impacts your personal life and your professional life.

In this blog post, I shall discuss some of the factors that can affect your self-esteem and practical ways you can develop a healthy self-esteem.

           Definition of Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem can be explained as how much you like and value yourself or think of yourself positively. According to BetterUp, it is the degree to which we evaluate ourselves positively.

It is your level of belief in yourself and your abilities. It genuinely comes from the inside i.e from your mind. Self-esteem is not arrogance or pride. A person could be rich and still have a low self-esteem. A person could talk confidently and still have a low self-esteem.

When you constantly think negatively about yourself, your appearance, etc., then you have a poor self-esteem.

Some signs that you may have a low/poor self-esteem are:

• Constant need to please others.
• Feeling inferior to other people.
• Putting other people's needs ahead of yours.
• Constantly thinking negatively about yourself.

 

       5 Factors that can Influence Your Self-Esteem

No one is born with a low self-esteem at birth. It is a result of circumstances and situations that you start experiencing from birth.

Here are 5 factors that influence/ affect your self-esteem:

1. Childhood Trauma and Experiences: If you suffered as a child either from your parents or a relative, that suffering grows with you and affects how you think about yourself.

For example, if you lived in a home where you were constantly abused either physically or mentally, it continues to affects you even when you grow older. It can make you think poorly of yourself and when similar situations happen, you start feeling like you deserve it.

That negative view of yourself follows you to adulthood.  It can affect the way you think about yourself or the way you think other people think of you.

2. Constant Negativity: If you constantly think negatively about yourself then your self-esteem will always be poor. This usually starts as a child.

For example, let's say you failed a test in school, you might start thinking you're stupid and just criticizing yourself. This can go on even until you get older such that anytime you fail at something, you start criticizing yourself. All these can influence your self-esteem.

3. Social Comparisons: If you are constantly comparing yourself to others, it will affect your self-esteem. This is one of the most dangerous effects of social media.

For example, you see someone younger than you or of your age looking a certain way, doing something or buying something that you don't have. Then you start feeling useless and comparing yourself to them. This will influence your self-esteem and you will continue to bring yourself down because of what others are doing.

4. Past Failures: If you have failed at things in the past, it can affect your self-esteem greatly and not in a positive way. You start doubting your abilities and yourself. This can make you develop a low self-esteem.
5. Failed Relationships: If you have had a bad relationship in the past, it can affect the way you think of yourself. Maybe the other party said something negative before the relationship ended. You might start unconsciously believing those negative thoughts and that can affect your self-esteem.

 

5 Ways a Poor/Low Self-esteem Can Affect Your Life

Having a poor or low self-esteem is more than just how you think about yourself. It can have negative effects on your life such as:

1. It affects how you care for yourself: When you have a low self-esteem, you see yourself as unimportant and treat yourself casually. You don't care for your appearance or how you look because you already don't feel good about yourself. You also put other people's needs above your needs

When you have a positive self-esteem, you make decisions that benefits yourself.

2. It affects your romantic relationships: Having a poor self-esteem can have a negative impact on romantic relationships. Since you think negatively about yourself, you attract people who think negatively of you and treat you horribly. On the other hand, when you meet people who actually treat you well, you feel unused to it and think you don’t deserve it.
3. It makes you timid and unassertive: if you have a poor self-esteem, you will find it difficult to stand up for yourself. Even when people treat you badly, you will accept it since you think you don't deserve more. The worst thing is that when people will take advantage of you, you will find it very difficult to say no even when it makes you uncomfortable.
4. It can lead to anxiety and depression: Having a poor self-esteem means you are always comparing yourself to others and looking down on yourself.

You will feel unhappy and unsatisfied with your life. You will become anxious about things beyond your control and when it does work out, you become even more depressed.

5. It makes you stay in your comfort zone: Having a low self-esteem means you do not believe in your abilities. You have no confidence in yourself. And without this you can't achieve your goals. It also hinders you from taking action. You end up living a life you yourself are not happy with.

 

12 Practical Tips to help you Boost Your Self-esteem

1. Accept and forgive yourself: The first step towards improving your self-esteem is to be honest with yourself. You need to accept yourself the way you are. Comparison is a thief of joy. If you constantly compare yourself to others, you will never be happy with yourself.

You also need to forgive yourself. It doesn't matter what has happened in the past. Be compassionate to yourself and forgive yourself. Stop beating yourself over it. Let go and move on.

2. Learn to love yourself: This doesn't happen overnight. You have to take time to learn about yourself and find out your strengths. You have to intentionally find positive things about yourself. The more you do this, the more your self- esteem improves.

Start by setting aside time today and writing all the good things you can think about yourself. It could be your character, your appearance, etc.

3. Intentionally challenge negative thoughts: Everyone has negative thoughts but when you allow it to continue, it affects your mind and your self-esteem.

To improve your self- esteem, you must learn how to repel negative thoughts when they come. For example, if you fail at something and you start thinking you are worthless, stupid, etc., stop it immediately and start saying positive affirmations to yourself.

Every morning you wake up, confess positive things. Do not allow negative thoughts find a place in your mind.

To help you do this, you could get affirmation cards that you can read anytime either at home and at work. This will help you build your self-esteem.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others: Nothing good comes from always comparing yourself to other people. It just makes you feel more down and unworthy. Instead, think of the positive things in your life. Focus on your life and your own success.

To help you stop comparing yourself to others, you can choose to limit your social media use or only follow people that inspire and motivate you.

5. Hang out with people who think positively: If you are always with friends who always think negative, you might need to reduce your contact with them. If you don't, their negative energy will rub off on you and you will start become negative.
6. Learn to speak up for yourself: Sometimes the reason many of us don't speak up whenever we feel uncomfortable is because we have this belief that our opinions do not matter. That is what a poor self-esteem does to you.

So, you need to speak up. Stop trying to please people at your own expense. If you're not comfortable with something, let people know you're not comfortable.

7. Develop a habit of gratitude: Low self-esteem is the result of constantly thinking negatively about yourself. It involves constantly dwelling on your mistakes and failures. But this is wrong.

You need to learn to be grateful. Everyone has something to be grateful for. Focus on those good things and see how your life will change.

8. Exercise regularly: Exercising is not just good for your body; It is also good for your mind. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals which makes you feel good. Also, as you hit your exercise goals, you become more confident and the way you think of your body/appearance improves.
9. Be mindful of what you listen to: For some of us, the reason we have a low self-esteem is because of what we have heard other people say about us.

For example, if you were constantly criticized as a child, you would most likely have a low self-esteem. You mind may start adopting those beliefs and you actually start seeing yourself in the light of those negative criticisms.

This is why you need to be careful of what and who you listen to. If you have a friend/partner who constantly belittles you, speak up about it.

10. Celebrate your little wins and successes: One thing about having a low self-esteem is that when good things happen, you start underrating them or you start comparing it others.

This is not good at all. You have to learn how to celebrate the little things no matter what your mind tells you.

11. Talk to your therapist: If you find that you have a low self-esteem, you should consider seeing a therapist. They will help you find the reasons why you have a low-esteem and even work with you to improve it.

For example, if the reason is a result of an experience you had as a child, they will help you to unpack it and find closure from it.

            Book an appointment with our experienced therapists here.

12. Set goals and achieve them: If you see yourself as someone who is incapable, you need to challenge yourself. Start by setting small goals and achieving them. The more you do this, the more your confidence grows and your self-esteem improves.

It doesn't have to be anything big. It could be as simple as just hitting your gym goals or reading a particular number of books.

Conclusion

To achieve your goals and fulfill your dreams in 2025, you need to improve your self-esteem. You need to be conscious about how you think of yourself and your abilities. A strong self-esteem will significantly change the way you think and the way you do things.

To boost your self-esteem and start 2025 on a positive note, book an appointment with our experienced therapists today.

 

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by Sarah Agagu

15 Best Christmas Gifts for Your Nigerian Employees (that they would actually love)

It's that time of the year when you need to show love and appreciation to your employees. Your employees have helped you throughout the year to achieve your business goals. What better time to appreciate their efforts than in this holiday season?

You may think it doesn't matter but it does. Everyone should be appreciated for their efforts especially your employees.

If you want them to be more motivated, productive and even go the extra mile for your business in 2025, then you need to show your appreciation. And no, just a simple thank you is not enough.

In this blog, I will give you 15 Christmas gift ideas that you can consider getting for your Nigerian employees.

Let's get into it.

              15 Best Christmas Gifts for Your Nigerian Employees

For this upcoming Christmas, here are 15 Christmas gift ideas you can give to your employees that they would appreciate:

1. Company-branded Clothes: One gift that you can never go wrong with is giving your employees clothes with the company's logo on it. It is practical as they can wear it anywhere. It also has your brand logo and creates a sense of belonging among your employees.

   And let's admit it, it also publicizes your company. So for this Christmas, consider giving your employees clothes with your company logo on them like hoodies, T-shirts, face caps, etc.

A very important thing you should note is that the clothes should be high-quality. No one wants clothes that would start fading after washing once.

2. Fancy Snack/Food Gifts: You could get fancy snacks and soft drinks for your employees as a Christmas gift. Think candies, chocolate, snacks, soft drinks, etc. You could even go high class and buy wine/champagne (if you're sure they drink it) and order fancy snacks for them.
3. Raw Food Gifts: This is a very good and practical gift. Food prices in Nigeria rises every day and choosing to get your employees foodstuffs as a Christmas gift would be well-appreciated.

You could consider giving rice, a bottle of oil, noodles, spaghetti, etc. However, you have to very budget-conscious. For example, if you are a small business, there is no reason to start distributing one bag of rice to your employees.

4. Water bottles/mugs: This is also a very good Christmas gift you can give to your employees. It's budget friendly and will also be useful to your employees.

To make it even more unique, you can place your company logo on it. You can even include their personal name on it.

5. Subscription gifts: This type of gift is a little bit high-class but it can work if you have the budget for it. You can offer to pay for your employees' subscriptions like DSTV, Startimes, GoTV, Netflix, etc. it could be just for one-month and your employees will love it. However, make sure you have the budget for it before you consider this kind of gift.
6. Mental Health Gifts: Giving your employees’ gifts that would help them relieve their stress and support their mental health is a very good idea. You can consider giving gifts like stress balls, affirmation cards, etc.

You can pair it with other gifts like a water bottle, mug, etc.

Buy some Stress balls and affirmation Cards for Your Employees Here.

7. Personalized Thank-You Cards: A good Christmas gift to give your employees is a personalized thank-you card. It is an opportunity to tell your employees how much you appreciate their efforts.

However, you might also want to pair this gift with other gifts like a notebook, journal, etc.

8. Gift Packages: Who doesn't love gift packages? You get to receive gifts of different items in one single package. Your employees will absolutely appreciate this especially if it's filled with stuff that they love.

They are so many gift packages you can try but how about one that is solely for your employees. I am talking about Mycarebuddy Employees- Team Buddy Box. We curated this gift package specifically for your employees and they are sure to love it.

Get it here now.

9. Office Accessories: Another Christmas gift idea for your Nigerian employees is to get them some office items/accessories like biros, notebooks, journals, planners, etc.

One thing about this type of gift is that It is budget-friendly and useful to your employees.

You can purchase journals for your employees here.

10. Books: You might be thinking who wants books for Christmas? But giving books can be a very good Christmas gift especially if you know the employee you want to give it to. For example, if you know your employees enjoy reading a lot, getting a them a book might even be better than getting them an office item.

What matters is that you know it's a book that they would actually love and appreciate. So, don't go getting a romance novel when you know they would actually appreciate a book on self-development.

11. Kitchen Items: This is a very great Christmas gift to give your employees if you have the budget for it. You can consider giving gifts like blenders, spatula, plates, etc.
12. Everyday Items: Why not give your employees a Christmas gift that they can use every day? Examples of such gifts are hand fans, food flasks, rechargeable fans, laptop bags, rechargeable lights/torch etc.
13. Gift Cards: Another gift to give your employees in this holiday season is gift cards. Let your employees choose what they want. You can give them gift cards like Amazon gift cards, Jumia gift cards, etc.

14. Extra Days Off: According to a 2023 survey for Nigerian employees, 1 in 12 employees would prefer you give them an          extended holiday as a Christmas gift. So, instead of the usual breaks you give your employees during the holidays, you can also add some extra days for them to relax and spend time with their family.

15. Cash Bonus: Who doesn't want extra cash for Christmas? One Christmas gift that can never go wrong is cash gifts. You can decide to add some extra amount to your employees’ salaries and wages. However as mentioned earlier, always be budget conscious. It's a gift. It's the thought that counts.

ALSO READ: Social Media Pressure: How to use Social Media Wisely and avoid Digital Burnout.

Things to Note while Choosing the Best Christmas Gifts for Your Nigerian Employees

1. Give personalized gifts: Over the year, you are bound to have noticed some certain things about your employees. This includes their likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc.

So, while choosing your gifts, make sure it fits the person. Don't give gifts that your employees will end up giving someone else or even worse throwing away because it is useless to them. Your gift should be practical or something they will enjoy.

For example, you shouldn't be giving alcoholic wine as a gift to an employee you know doesn’t take alcohol.

2. Be budget conscious: Yes, you want to give your employees a Christmas gift that they would love. But you also have to consider your budget. Don't go giving gifts that would put your business into debt. Be reasonable about your gift giving.
3. Do not expect a gift in return: I hate to break it to you but you might not get a gift back from your employees. There are several reasons for this but the major one is that it places a huge burden on your employees.

Knowing what to give to your boss is one of the hardest thing to decide. You don't want to give too little. At the same time, you don't want to give too much so they don't feel pressured.

So, forget about receiving gifts from your employees in exchange for yours. If they give you, good. If they don't, it's still good.

Conclusion

Christmas is a perfect time to appreciate your employees. When you appreciate them, they will want to do it again and give their best performance. Remember your gifts should be practical and useful.

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by Sarah Agagu

Social Media Pressure: How to Use Social Media Wisely and Avoid Digital Burnout

When you feel the need to compare yourself to others due to what they show on their social media pages, that is social media pressure.

When you feel the need to gain likes, follows and shares just to validate your worth, that is social media pressure.

When you feel the need to portray an unoriginal lifestyle based on what others are doing online, that is social media pressure.

Social media pressure is a major challenge faced by different age groups with the continuous increase in social media apps. Unfortunately, despite its numerous benefits, social media also affects us negatively especially in relation to our mental health.

The constant comparison and excessive screen time has led to increased anxiety, depression, inferiority complex, etc.

To protect your mental health, you must learn how to handle this pressure wisely and avoid digital burnout. This blog post focuses on helping you do just that.

               Understanding Social Media Pressure

Social media pressure can be explained as the excessive need to do, dress or act a certain way due to what you see online. You constantly try to meet the standards of what you see online and this can have a very negative impact on your mental health.

For example, you see an image of your friend in a Lamborghini, then you start feeling inferior and worthless.

Social media pressure goes beyond just comparisons. The urge to receive likes and follows is another example of social media pressure. You start judging your life and worth by the number of likes and comments you have. All these are one of the numerous ways social media has affected our lives.

Other effects of social media pressure is low self-esteem, poor body image, digital addiction, anxiety and depression, etc.

Nigerians spend an average of 3 hours daily on social media - THISDAYLIVE

How Can You Use Social Media Wisely?

Social media itself is not inherently bad. It can be a great way to learn, stay connected, build a brand, make a living, etc. But its negative effects can be seriously harmful to not just your mental health but your physical health.

Social media use will not be stopping anytime. Currently there are about 31. 6 million Nigerians on social media according to Statista.

This figure will only continue to increase yearly. New social media platforms will also keep coming up. This means the pressure is bound to increase.

To navigate this new reality, you need to learn how to use social media wisely.

Here are 5 ways to use social media wisely without affecting your mental health:

1. Set Time Limits for Social Media Use: Many of us spend way too much time on social media. We are constantly on this app even at the expense of our mental well-being. While you do not need to completely stop using social media, you need to find a balance.

Limit the amount of time you spend on social media. You can use app timers, alarms and digital wellbeing tools to help you.

Reducing your screen time will significantly reduce the pressure that social media brings with it and help you enjoy it without affecting your mental health.

2. Curate Your Feed: Social media algorithms will show you similar posts to what you constantly watch/read. If you constantly watch videos that makes you compare yourself to others or that intimidates you, the algorithm will keep bringing similar posts to you.

For example, if you watch videos of people showing up their houses and cars on TikTok, then you will keep seeing similar posts on your For You Page.

So, you have to be highly intentional about what you watch or read. If you find that watching a video or reading posts from certain people makes you unhappy and depressed, stop reading or watching those posts.

Watch/read posts only posts that would inspire and motivate you. Choose to unfollow, mute/block accounts that trigger comparison or negativity in you.

3. Practice Mindful Scrolling: A lot of us spend time on social media just scrolling and scrolling for no reason. Some of us are also guilty of doom scrolling i.e. spending excessive time online reading/watching negative content.

The results of this is increased anxiety and mental stress. To overcome this, you need to use social media with intention. It shouldn't just be a habit to overcome boredom or kill time.

Let your social media use have a limit. If you are online, focus on consuming content that helps and inspires you.

Focus on connecting and engaging with close friends and meaningful communities instead of chasing likes or trends.

4. Build a Life Outside Social Media: Excessive social media use kills relationships and causes isolation. If you spend too much time on social media, you neglect your real-life relationships and interactions.

This can be very dangerous and can cause depression. Therefore, you must prioritize hobbies and interests outside social media.

Go out to events and hangouts. Maintain face-to-face interactions and relationships. The virtual world is just as it name implies virtual. Don't neglect your life offline for your online activities.

5. Develop Better Screen time Habits: To use social media wisely, you need to develop better screen time habits and practices. Some of them include reducing or limiting social media use at work, reducing social media use before bedtime, etc.

ALSO READ: What is Journaling: 7 Major Reasons Why You Should Start Journaling

               How to Combat Digital Burnout

Digital burnout occurs due to excessive social media use and pressure. It is the ultimate effect of excessive screen time. Some signs of digital burnout are:

• Constant feeling of being overwhelmed by social media updates.
• Physical problems like Insomnia, chest pains.
• Decreased productivity or focus due to endless scrolling.
• Emotional exhaustion or stress caused by online interactions.
• Social media addiction.

Here are 5 ways to help you combat digital burnout:

1. Take regular digital detoxes: Digital detox means to purposefully reduce the amount of time you spend on digital devices. To combat digital burnout, you need to take a step back from social media use.

   For example, if you are active on 4 social media platforms, you may need to uninstall/freeze all or some of these apps.

2. Use "Do Not Disturb" mode or turn off notifications: Social media platforms like Instagram and LinkedIn are always sending notifications and updates which can leave you anxious and lure you back to the app.

So, if you are really serious about your digital break, you need to turn off the notifications or use the ‘do not disturb’ button on your phone.

3. Set rules for your social media use: Without rules, you end of spending way too much time mindlessly scrolling on social media. But if you set rules and stick to them, you will be able to reduce your screen time and have extra time to do more productive activities.

For example, you can decide not to use social media during work hours. This will help you focus and be more productive.

4. Spend time outdoors: To combat digital burnout, you need to take a break and become more in tune with the real world. Focus on building offline relationships. Take up physical sports/activities and attend physical events.
5. Seek support: Digital burnout is a problem that affects you mentally and physically. If you feel that you can't overcome it alone or you are too dependent on social media, then you need to seek help.

There are support communities online dedicated towards digital detox. You can also talk to a therapist who can guide you and help you replace your digital habits.

Book a session with us and put an end to digital burnout in your life.

Conclusion

Social media pressure is a major problem affecting our mental health today. It can cause depression, anxiety and ultimately lead to digital burnout.

To overcome this pressure, you need to set limits to your screen time and develop better screen time habits.

By following the steps mentioned above, you will be able to enjoy the perks of social media with little/no impact on your mental health.

If you are experiencing digital burnout or finding it difficult to set limits with your social media usage, book a session with us to get confidential and effective care from our therapists.

We are always here to help you.

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by Sarah Agagu

How to Heal After a Breakup and Manage your Mental Health

Going through a breakup or 'breakfast' as known to Nigerians can be a very painful experience that can affect you physically, mentally and psychologically. Heartbreak is one of the many factors that can affect your mental health and cause you to think and act in unusual ways.

Earlier this month, a story went viral about a Nigerian girl who poisoned her ex-boyfriend and also caused the deaths of his friends.

This unfortunate incident is a reflection of recent developments that has become common in Nigeria and around the world. A study also revealed that 1 in 5 deaths by suicide were caused by romantic breakups, separations , etc.

Many people do not know how to process their hurt feelings after a breakup which can lead to anxiety, depression and even having suicidal thoughts.

In this article, our focus shall be on how to start the process of healing after a breakup and manage your mental health.

     Effects of Breakups on Your Mental Health

Withdrawal and Isolation-

After a breakup, many of us isolate ourselves from our friends and families. This isolation causes us to feel lonely and sad. It can also make us act in irrational ways like stalking, breaking their belongings, etc.

Lifestyle Changes-

A breakup can seriously affect the lifestyle of an individual. Your sleep habits change. Your eating habits change. Even your behavior can change.

For example, after a breakup, a person can become overweight from overeating or underweight for eating less. You might even find it difficult to sleep.

Mood Swings-

Heartbreak can cause you to experience mood changes like anger, confusion to sadness, resentment, jealousy, etc.

Depression-

This is a major effect of heartbreak.  Suffering from a breakup affects your mood and emotions. It can also make you feel down and start thinking depressive thoughts.

According to a study, people who are going through breakups exhibit more symptoms of depression compared to people who are in a relationship.

Alcohol and Drug Abuse-

This is very common for men. Unlike women who are more open to expressing their feelings, men do not easily do it. Therefore, to numb their hurt feelings, they can resort to drinking, smoking and drug abuse.

Increase of Negative/Harmful Thoughts-

After a heartbreak, your thoughts can get more negative and your mind enters into a cycle of self-blame and pity.

You might even start having negative/harmful thoughts about the other party which could get dangerous if it is not checked properly.

Low Self Confidence and Self-Esteem-

Suffering from a breakup affects your self-esteem and confidence levels. Your understanding and belief about yourself changes and your confidence level drops. You might even start to believe you are unworthy and hopeless.

ALSO READ: 10 Self-Care Practices to Help You Relax and Unwind

5 Ways to Heal After a Breakup and Take Care of Your Mental Health

1. Express your feelings: This is a very important thing to help you heal after a breakup. In Nigeria, people joke a lot about heartbreaks. You hear things like ‘we go chop breakfast’, ‘it's not a big deal’, ‘move one’, etc.

Although heartbreak is something that seriously affects our mental health, we tend to joke about it and not take it seriously. This causes people to suppress their hurt emotions which is not good in the long run.

So, to really heal after a breakup, do not be afraid to express your feelings. You need to feel all the emotions that come with a breakup including grief, anger, confusion, loneliness, sadness, resentment, etc., to really move on.

Choosing to deny or bottle these emotions will affect you both physically and mentally. Allow yourself to feel.

Here are 4 ways to do this:

• Talk about it.
• Do not fight your feelings.
• Acknowledge your pain and hurt.
• Cry about it if you want to. Do not be ashamed.

2. Keep your distance both physically and online: Unfortunately, social media is not a kind place to be when you are going through a heartbreak. Apart from the fact that it can cause you start stalking or tracking the other party, it can also make you more depressed.

For example, seeing pictures and videos of other people in love can affect you and trigger you to do something drastic.

You should also distance yourself from the other party for a while. While you might end up being friends later, it can't be immediately. Keeping your distance at this point will be much better for your mental health than trying to maintain a close friendship.

3. Acceptance: Accept that things change and don't always work out. One thing about breakups is that you remember only the good memories and ignore the bad ones. You start to question and wonder if the outcome could have been different. But if you guys were good together, it wouldn't have ended in the first place.

So, you must accept that you two were not the best fit. Failing to do this might cause you to start doubting yourself, losing self -confidence and feeling depressed.

But once you are able to accept it, you will find closure. Remember you don't have to this alone. Our therapists are always here to listen and guide through the process

4. Practice Self-Care: There is no better time to be intentional about your self-care than after a breakup. It is the time for you to focus on yourself and listen to your body and mind.

Heartbreak affect our self-esteem, self-confidence, body image, etc. We start doubting ourselves and our worth.

This is why you have to focus on yourself during these period. Participate in self-care activities like:

• Meditation and Mindfulness,
• Exercising regularly.
• Therapy,
• Listening to music, podcasts and audiobooks, etc.

Do things that makes you happy. However, be careful not to fall into self-sabotaging habits.   An example of such habits is using drugs and alcohol to numb your pain, constantly eating junk food, etc.

5. Ask for help: Contrary to what many of us think, breaking off a relationship is not something to be embarrassed or ashamed of. At the same time, feeling sad or unhappy about the end of a relationship is not a bad emotion.

So, if you feel that you can't cope or you are finding it difficult to cope, ask for help. Talk to your close friends. Talk to family member. See a therapist. Do not be ashamed to say you are not okay.

6. Start a Journaling habit: Journaling can be a major way to handle the aftermath of a breakup and take care of your mental health.

The process of writing or typing your feelings can be therapeutic. You get to process your emotions, hurt feelings and gain the closure you need to move on. It also reduces the stress, anxiety and depression the breakup might have caused.

So, get a journal or a journal app and start writing.

7. Counter negative thoughts and beliefs with positive affirmations and statements: Going through heartbreak can leave you feeling rejected and negative about your life. You might start to blame yourself and question your values and beliefs.

During this period, you need to constantly remind yourself to think positive and good thoughts. Do not allow negative thoughts and beliefs due to the breakup to overwhelm you.

To do this, you can get affirmation cards and make a habit of reading them regularly. You could also listen to positive and empowering music. Do not dwell in the cycle of self-pity and negativity forever.

8. Reach out to your friends and family members: As mentioned above, one major effect of breakups is self- isolation. However, this is not a good coping mechanism.

So, no matter how tempted you may be to just withdraw from your friends and family, do not do so. Connect with them and let them be your support group.

Talking to others about it and receiving moral and verbal support can be very helpful in your journey of healing.

Conclusion

Heartbreak is not the end of the world although it can often seem like it. To kick start your healing process after a breakup, take time for yourself to process your hurt feelings and find acceptance.

By following the points mentioned above, you will be able to heal and protect your mental health at the same time.

If you need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to us. Our therapists are always ready to provide thoughtful and confidential care to help you. To kick start your healing process, book a session with us today.

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by Sarah Agagu

What is Journaling: 7 Major Reasons Why You Should Start Journaling

Journaling is one of the most recommended self-care practices in the world. It can help you find peace, clarity and closure from your experiences. It is a habit that can impact your physical and your mental health positively.

In this blog, we will examine journaling, its benefits and other necessary information you should know about journaling.

    What is Journaling?

Journaling is the process of jotting or putting down your thoughts, feelings and ideas on a journal. It involves recording your thoughts/ feelings about an experience or situation. It is a therapeutic way of sharing your emotions and thoughts through words.

There are 2 major ways you can journal-

1. Paper Journaling: This is when you document and record your thoughts in a paper, journal, notebook etc. With paper journaling, you are able to write down your thoughts anywhere without any digital device. It is also more personal.
2. Digital Journaling: is a type of journaling that involves putting down your thoughts on a digital platform like a notepad or journal app. Examples of journal apps are Rosebud, Day One, ULY, etc.

   When Can You Journal?

Journaling can be done anytime. You can do it immediately you wake up or before you go to bed. You also can do it at work. What matters is that you do it at a time and place where you will not be distracted.

   What is a journal?

A journal is a space where you put down your reflective thoughts into words. It could be in paper form. It could also be done digitally i.e through journal apps.

    Difference between a Journal and a Diary

A journal and a diary are constantly interchanged together but there is a difference. What you write in a diary is different from what you write in a journal.

A diary can contain records of your daily activities, schedule, events, and other information you want to remember. While a journal is used to document your feelings, goals, perspectives, experiences so you can reflect and learn from them.

ALSO READ: What is Yoga: 6 Major Benefits of Yoga on Your Mental Health

  7 Major Reasons Why You Should Start Journaling

Journaling has become very popular in the world for amazing reasons like:

1. Journaling provides a safe space to release and process your emotions.

When you write/type as the case may be, you let go of suppressed emotions and feelings. You are also able to reflect on them and find out what it means.

For example, if you start Journaling after a breakup, you are able to let go of any suppressed emotions, reflect and ultimately find closure.

2. It stimulates your brain and increases creativity.

Journaling helps you gain clarity and find inspiration. While journaling, you are consistently thinking, reflecting and brainstorming. This can stimulate your creative juices and help you think of great ideas.

3. It improves your self-awareness.

Self-awareness is the ability of being conscious of your thoughts, patterns, behaviors and its impact on yourself and other people around you. Through journaling, you gain a deeper understanding of your behaviors, your emotions, etc.

With self-awareness comes growth. As you become more self-aware, you are able to let go of self-hurting behaviors and habits.

4. It reduces stress and anxiety.

Stress and anxiety are a reflection of your emotional state. Journaling can be an unburdening practice. It is like going to therapy.

While writing, your mind becomes free of stressful and anxious thoughts, helping you maintain a calm state of mind.  A 2018 study has even revealed that journaling helped in reducing depressive symptoms and anxiety of its 70 participants.

5. Journaling helps you develop the habit of gratefulness.

As humans, we generally focus on what is going wrong in our life and dismiss the good. However, journaling changes that. It helps you pause, analyze your life experiences and notice the positive aspects of your life.

6. Journaling provides clarity and improves your problem solving skills.

When you are journaling, you analyze and try to understand an experience. In the process, you gain more perspective about a situation and begin to see it from both sides.

For example, if you have a challenge and you decide to write it down in your journal, you will find out that as you write, you begin to gain clarity about it and you may even get ideas on how you can solve that problem.

7. It improves your mood.

Journaling is a good mood booster. If you are in a bad mood and you decide to journal, at the end of the process, you will find that your emotions are less intense.

For example, if you are very angry and you start journaling, you will notice that as you write/type your anger fades.

How to Start and Maintain a Journaling Habit

To help you start and maintain the habit of journaling, here are a few tips to guide you:

1. Get a Journal or a Journaling App (if you prefer digital Journaling).
2. Create a Journaling Routine- Do you want to do it in the morning or at night? Do you want to do it at home or at work?
3. Start Small- There is no rule that you must write a whole page when your journal. It could be as simple as writing a few sentences. Do not pressure yourself.
4. Write Freely- There is no rule of what you can or can't write in your journal. Don't limit yourself. Write as you wish.
5. Choose a Distraction-Free Zone and Time to Journal- Only journal at places and times when you will not be distracted. For example, if you are a mom, journaling when your kids are present might not be a good idea.
6. Be Patient and Consistent- To reap the benefits of journaling, you need to be consistent. It should not be a one-time thing or a once in a while practice. Write in your journal regularly.

Conclusion

Journaling is one of the best practices you can do for your mental health. It will change the way you see things and help you find clarity and closure. Click here to purchase a Mindfulness Journal and start your journaling habit today.

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by Sarah Agagu

The Power of Affirmation Cards: Six Benefits They Can Bring to Your Life

One of the tools of personal growth that a lot of people are tapping into recently is affirmation cards. These little cards inscribed with positive affirmations and quotes are used to counter negative self-talk and boost self-confidence.

Read on to find out the power of positive affirmation cards and how you can use them to your benefit.

     What Are Affirmation Cards?

Affirmation cards are phrases and statements used to counter unhelpful and self-defeating thoughts. They are cards with positive statements inscribed on them which you can read to boost your confidence and encourage yourself.

These statements create a positive mental image in your mind about yourself boosting your self-esteem and confidence levels.

For example, let us say you are feeling doubtful about yourself before a big exam. Reading affirmation cards can help you become more confident and get rid of those self-sabotaging thoughts.

Affirmation cards are built on the power of positive thinking and self-affirmation. If you think positive of yourself, you are most likely to have positive results. Constantly reading affirmation cards will help you think of yourself and your abilities in a positive manner.

It is a way to get rid of inferior thoughts and remind yourself that you are capable and worth it. It is a self-esteem and self confidence booster. Some successful people who swear to the power of positive affirmations are Oprah Winfrey, Jennifer Lopez, Michelle Obama, Maya Angelou, etc.

10 Everyday Affirmation Card Quotes

Examples of affirmation quotes on these cards are:

1. I believe in myself and my ability.
2. I am confident and capable at what I do.
3. I choose to be happy.
4. I accept and love myself thoroughly and completely.
5. I am fine with who I am and I love who I am becoming.
6. My body is amazing just the way it is and I accept myself this way.
7. I am a quick and capable learner.
8. I choose only to think good thoughts.
9. I release negative feelings and thoughts about myself.
10. I am unique and beautiful.

 

           What Affirmation Cards Are Not

Affirmation cards are not magic. They are not quick fixes to pass an exam or a job interview. Although they help to change your perspectives and mindsets, if you don't take action, nothing will happen.

   How Long Should You Read Affirmation Cards

Regularly. Reading affirmation cards should not be a one-time thing. To get the full benefits on your mental health, you should read it constantly.

                When Should You Use Affirmation Cards

Using affirmation cards is very simple. You can read it before leaving your house in the mornings. You can take it to work to give yourself a confidence boost at work.

You can also read an affirmation card before major events like a presentation, interview, date, etc.

Also, you can use affirmation cards anytime you feel doubtful of yourself or whenever you have negative thoughts.

Furthermore, you could use it whenever you are stressed, scared or afraid of failure.

In short, you can read an affirmation card anytime you want to get rid of negative thoughts or you want to encourage/motivate yourself.

I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest:  Mohammed Ali.

5 Benefits of Affirmation Cards On Your Life

1. It increases your performance and results: Affirmation cards help you believe in yourself and your abilities. It encourages you to see yourself in a positive light which motivates you to perform better.

For example, if you consistently read affirmation cards like “I have faith in my abilities, my goals are achievable”, etc. You start believing and seeing yourself as capable and this will change how you work.

2. It increases your energy and motivation: Affirmation cards helps to energize and motivate you. For example, let us say you have a goal that seems difficult to achieve, affirmation cards can motivate you to try.

Consistently reading affirmation cards like “I got this, I believe in myself” will motivate you to try and take action.

3. Affirmation cards boosts your mental health: Studies shows that self-affirmations can decrease stress. So, when you are stressed and anxious due to work, school, etc., reading affirmation cards can help you calm your mind and reduce your stress.
4. It boost your self-esteem and confidence: Affirmation cards are positive affirmations of yourself and your abilities. When you constantly read them, the number of times you doubt yourself reduces and your belief in yourself rises.

For example, you have probably noticed that when people are praised, they tend to become more confident in themselves. This is what affirmation cards do.

5. Affirmation cards helps you think in a positive light: Reading affirmation cards consistently will change your negative beliefs and mindsets to positive ones. You become more optimistic about yourself and your situation.
6. Affirmation cards have the potential to change your life: This might look like an exaggerated benefit but it is not.

Imagine constantly thinking positive about yourself and your situations, things around you will change. You start to see the good in yourself and around you. Even the Bible confirms it, “as a man thinketh in his heart so is he.”

ALSO READ: 10 Amazing Benefits of Meditation on Your Mental and Physical Health.

Where Can You Buy Affirmation Cards?

Affirmation cards can be purchased at online stores like Amazon. You can also purchase it here at Mycarebuddy at cheaper prices. You can buy it for yourself, your loved ones and your co-workers.

Click here to purchase your affirmation cards.

Conclusion

In taking care of your mental health, getting some affirmation cards should be one of your priorities. It will boost your self-esteem and confidence while getting rid of self-sabotaging thoughts of yourself.

To join other people who are constantly learning how to take care of their mental health, join our online mental health community today.

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by Sarah Agagu

Stress Management: How Can You Manage Stress at Work

Research has shown that work is one of the leading causes of stress in the world. The pressure to meet up with deadlines and all other demands of work can sometimes get to you and cause you to feel tired, anxious and stressed out. In the long run, it can lead to burnout, depression and even health problems.

To help you handle work stress and avoid burnout, you need to take specific steps to handle stress at work.

In this article, our focus shall be on how you can handle/manage stress at work and prevent burnout and other related problems.

             What is Stress Management

Stress management is used to describe the various ways, steps, techniques, tools that can help you handle stress. According to Mayo Clinic, stress management comprises the various  ways to help you better deal with stress and difficulty, also called adversity, in all aspects of your life.

Through stress management techniques and strategies, you will be able to effectively manage stress in all areas of your life including your work.

   Six Signs That You Are Stressed at Work

1. Constant weakness/tiredness.
2. Headaches and muscle tension.
3. Anxiety and depression.
4. Anger and frustration.
5. Insomnia/difficulty sleeping.
6. Absenteeism and presenteeism.
7. Poor work performance/results.

These are just a few of the many ways to tell if you're experiencing work stress.

           Causes of Work Stress

There are a lot of reasons why you can get stressed at work such as:

1. Unrealistic deadlines/expectations.
2. Conflicts/disagreements at work.
3. Overwhelming work demands.
4. Poor relationships with your boss/supervisor and co-workers.
5. Toxic work environment.
6. Constantly working overtime, etc.

 

ALSO READ: 10 Self-Care Practices to Help You Relax and Unwind.

 

              How Can You Manage/Handle Stress at Work?

1. Identify triggers and parts of your work that makes you stressed

To help you cope or handle work stress, you must try to find out aspects of your work that is causing you to feel tired and anxious.

For example, as an employee, you could be feeling stressed because of constantly working overtime or carrying out tasks beyond your capabilities. Once you are able to pinpoint the exact aspects of your work that is causing stress, you will be able to make the right changes.

To help you do this, you can decide to keep a Stress Journal. When you constantly note down things that are causing you stress at work, you will be to make proper decisions.

2. Develop healthy and practical coping strategies

Everyone has different ways to handle stress. For example, you might discover that exercising helps you take away the pressure from work and makes you feel less stressed. But this might not work for other people.

It is also not enough that you find practical ways to cope with stress but it must also be healthy. Some people cope with stress by getting drunk, eating junk food, etc., but this is only a temporary solution and bound to affect your health in the future.

3. Practice mindfulness and meditation

Mindfulness is the practice of being conscious or aware of your thoughts, body and environment. While meditation is the practice of clearing your mind of all distracting thoughts and focusing on a particular image, mantra or thought.

These two practices are one of the most common ways you can handle stress. The good news is that they can be done even at work.

Here is a simple meditation routine you can practice at work-

Look for a quiet place in your office or even at your desk. You can close your eyes if you think it will help you stay focused. Try to calm your mind and focus on a particular thought/mantra/image. As you do this, take slow deep breaths.

Doing this for 5-10 minutes at work can calm your mind and relieve your stress

4. Take care of your body

It is inevitable to feel stressed at work once in a while. To help you handle it, take care of your physical health.

How can you take care of your body?

• Eating healthy and nutritious foods at regular hours.
• Exercising regularly.
• Getting adequate sleep.
• Reducing your intake of junk foods.
• Quitting or reducing cigarettes and alcohol intake.

5. Take regular breaks at work

No matter how busy you may be at work, try to take regular and short breaks. You could decide to go on short walks during lunch hours.

It could even be as simple as walking around and talking to your coworkers for a short time

6. Set realistic goals

We all want to achieve all our goals at work but that doesn't mean we should do it at the expense of our mental health.

For example, if you are in charge of a particular task at work but you are constantly trying to meet deadlines and always feeling pressured, this can cause you to feel stressed, anxious and ultimately burnout.

So, set goals that you can achieve without feeling pressured. If you are struggling with meeting up with deadlines or tasks, talk to your boss or supervisor.

Also learn to say 'No' to tasks that are time-consuming and beyond your capabilities at the moment.

7. Learn time management skills

Time management is a skill that you must possess to work efficiently at work without sacrificing your mental health. It is the ability to plan your time among different activities efficiently.

If you have a lot of tasks to carry out, managing your time will help you prioritize the most important ones and cut back on any unnecessary tasks that are wasting your time.

It will also help you choose realistic deadlines. For example, if you work for 10 hours a day and you are trying to do a job that is supposed to take 24 hours, you are bound to feel stressed.

Furthermore, it will help you break down large projects into smaller and achievable tasks. With time management, you will be able to use your time efficiently without getting burnout.

8. Set work-life boundaries

There is a difference between your work and your personal life. If you constantly work when you should be with your family, you are bound to feel stressed.

For example, if you are always working during the weekends, this can significantly increase your stress levels and even worse, lead to burnout.

Therefore, you must be very careful not to blur the lines between your personal life and your work. Don't constantly bring work home unless it is absolutely necessary. Get a life outside your job.

9. Ask for help

Many of us are significantly stressed at work from our work demands and all it will take to manage the situation is to ask for assistance.

However, we refuse to do so either out of pride or embarrassment. But there is nothing wrong about asking for help.

So, if you have a task that you struggle with and is pressuring you, ask for help from your colleagues. Do not suffer in silence.

Also, if you are a boss or self-employed, try to delegate tasks that might be adding to your burden.

10. Talk to a therapist

This is one of the best ways to handle work stress. A therapist will help you analyze the issues that are making you stressed at work and also teach you better and heathier ways you can handle it.

To speak with a therapist and learn how to handle stress at work, book a session with us now.

Conclusion

Feeling stressed at work is very common and you must learn how to handle it effectively. Through time management, setting boundaries, asking for help and other practices mentioned above, you will be able to manage stress at work efficiently.

To learn more about stress management and other ways to take care of your mental health, join our mental health community today.

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by Sarah Agagu

Understanding Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) as a Nigerian: Meaning, Symptoms, Treatment

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is not much talked about in Nigeria compared to other mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

Although it is a major mental health challenge, few Nigerians understand what it means. For those who understand, there is a misconception that it is all about performing repeated tasks or trying to stay clean.

However, OCD is way more than that. With OCD awareness week coming soon, it is important that you understand what it really means and how it can be treated.

In this article, we will learn about OCD, its symptoms and how it can be treated or managed.

What exactly is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

According to Cleveland Clinic, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a mental health condition in which you have frequent unwanted thoughts that cause you to perform repetitive behaviors.

This condition causes you to have illogical thoughts and fears that can make you anxious making you perform repeated actions to get rid of those thoughts and fears.

Examples of such fears and thoughts include:

• Fear of harming your loved ones or yourself.
• Fear of losing something or someone.
• Thoughts of making mistakes.

This doesn't mean that OCD is all about doing things repeatedly but that it also affects your daily living.  People with OCD find it very difficult to have a normal life or enjoy normal interactions with others.

When they refuse to perform these actions, they feel uncomfortable, anxious and unable to function normally.

Some OCD symptoms are:

• Washing your hands continuously to the point of pain.
• Wanting everything arranged in a specific way.
• Cleaning your room every few hours.
• Hoarding items that you don't need.
• Checking your door lock repeatedly.
• Excessive brushing of your teeth in a day.

Note: What matters is that these symptoms affect your normal activities.

There are no specific causes of OCD but some factors that can cause it are genetics, childhood trauma, tic disorders, anxiety disorders, etc.

ALSO READ: Professional Therapy: Why You Should See a Therapist

 

4 Effects of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

When you have OCD, it can lead to:

1. Difficulty in having normal relationships.
2. Inability to focus in school or at work.
3. Suicidal thoughts.
4. Contact dermatitis.

 

How can OCD be Treated or Managed

1. Through Medications: If you are diagnosed with OCD, there are drugs that can help you treat it like Tricyclic Antidepressants, selective SRIS, etc. Make sure to visit a qualified mental health professional for diagnosis first.
2. Therapy: Going to therapy is also a good way to treat OCD. Therapy techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy can help in treating OCD.

In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, your therapist will help you develop better healthy coping strategies to replace your obsessions and compulsions

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, your therapist will help you learn and adjust your thoughts so you can live a normal life in spite of your OCD diagnosis.

Another therapy technique that can help is Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). This type of therapy involves doing the things you are afraid or being in situations that you are afraid of. This aim of this type of therapy is to help you understand that your fears are unreal and untrue.

At Mycarebuddy, we have qualified therapists who are always ready to guide you. Click here to book an appointment.

3. Practice Self-Care: Practicing self-care can help you manage your symptoms. Examples of some self-care practices that you can do are meditation, eating healthy, regular exercise, quality sleep etc. You can also practice other relaxation techniques like Yoga, group reflections, etc.
4. Join Support Groups: There are support groups for people with OCD online that you can join. In this groups, you will learn about your condition and how you can live a normal life even with your condition.

 

ALSO READ: Online v In-Person Support Groups/Communities: Choosing the Right Format for Your Mental Health Needs.

 

Conclusion

Obsessive compulsive Disorder is a mental health disorder that can affect anyone. If you show any of the symptoms mentioned above, try to connect with a mental health provider for early diagnosis and treatment. Click here to learn more about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

To learn more about mental health and even receive mental health support and resources, join our community today and be a part of our family.

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by Sarah Agagu